Looking Back

When I look back over the past year, art-wise, it was a year of photography. It's not that it was any special priority. Instead, I had several, tremendously, enjoyable experiences taking pictures and I think I got some good shots.

What I like best is using the 60x zoom on my fancy, but older model, point and shoot camera to capture candid moments. It's become almost a game to try to capture what I want to capture without cropping or editing the picture afterwards.

Drawing and painting was not at my core like it's been the last several years. I suppose the best thing is that I got past my first long hiatus. It surprised me how hard it was to get my regular practice back. While I am back to painting, I hardly drew at all. When I looked back at my blog posts in 2019, I was surprised to see that I started the year working on cross-hatching. I would like to work on that in 2020.

Going back to photography, here are some of my favorite images.

Most of my favorite photos came from the week I spent at the Tofte Lake Center.

This one is new and is from Christmas Eve of a very little girl contemplating a very large box. This present wasn't directly for her, but it didn't matter.

The single most important picture from this past year is not one of great photography. In fact, it's a picture of a high school yearbook picture of my biological mother. I found it at the public library in the community where she grew up. She, along with all of her immediate family, have already died, so I don't have many opportunities to get pictures or information, so this picture is very precious to me.

I didn't write about it much on this blog, but I spent a lot of the past year making discoveries about my biological and adoptive roots.

Still Painting More Than Posting

Here's what I've been up to, recently. 

I started this one the day after Christmas. 

It was finished the day after that.

#357 - White Ceramic Mug - 6" 6" - hardboard

I completed these, since then. 

#358 - Pear - 6" x 6" - hardboard

#359 - Mandarin - 6" x 6" - hardboard

One, new, good thing is that I'm working on background colors other than blue and green. For some reason, I do a lot of blue and green backgrounds and wanted to change that. One thing is pay attention to is that I have a lot of very, very similar brush strokes. I would like to mix it up, more. 

Painting, Not Posting

I have been painting, but not posting. What can I say? It’s a busy time of year. Ever since I played with pears for a month, I’ve been more interested in trying to paint from life rather than pictures. I’m a little surprised by this, because drawing with a view finder has been frustrating. Overall, I don’t think I’m seeing particular well these days.

It’s good to have these problems and minor gripes. I’ve been finding the time to paint almost every day and that is a very, very good thing!

#353 - New Purple Teapot - 6” x 6”- hard board

This is a replacement for my prior, purple teapot which broke. This one has a shiny finish. I did not get the spout. Initially, the background was a duller version of these colors. It’s better brightened up.

Next up are two tangerines. Both of them had fairly flat tops and, once again, I’m having some difficulty representing that.

#354 - Tangerine 1 - 6” x 6” - hardboard

#355 - Tangerine #2 - 8” x 8” - paper

This morning, I did a very quick painting of a grapefruit. It wasn’t a timed painting, but I was working pretty fast since there’s a lot to do today. The shapes aren’t quite right and I got a little sloppy.

#356 - Grapefruit on Plate - 8” x 8” - paper

I am glad I squeezed in time to paint today and to post.

Several More Paintings

I am still painting. Both of these are from several days ago.

#351 - Pear - 6" x 6" - hardboard

#352 - Red Pepper - 6" x 6" - hardboard

I started another red pepper this morning, but did not finish it. Later in the day, a friend and I went to the American Swedish Institute to see the house decorated up for Christmas. Different rooms were done up in different eras of different Scandinavian countries. The Finnish room represented the future. As part of the overall description and as part of approaching the winter solstice, I copied down this part.......

“We await the winter spirits who eat the worry and darkness of the previous year and bring new light and joy. Life is good.”

May it be so for all.

One of Three Completed

Since I last posted, I have tried several cat paintings. The first two attempts, I abandon early. That's not a habit I want, so I finished this one.

#350 - Mr. Biggs - 6" x 6" - hardboard

It's funny, but I never felt like I settled in with any of the three paintings.

An Old Friend

During my diversion into watercolor, the acrylic paints were set aside. Occasionally, I added water to the palette so they wouldn’t dry out, but other than that they were ignored.

Yesterday morning and this morning, I pulled out the acrylics and it was like visiting with an old friend. The relationship felt both comfy and rusty and I felt both less in control and more in control. Mixing colors was much harder and just working with the acrylics felt unfamiliar. At the time time, in same way I can’t put into words, my understanding of the medium deepened or changed somehow and that came from working in a different medium. I don’t know if it’s simple as coming back to the medium with a fresh brain and less expectations or if it’s more than that. What I do know was that prior to taking a break from acrylics, I was in a rut. It was like running lap after lap on the same track, in the same way, in the same place, until there were deep grooves which preventing seeing other possibilities.

#348 - Pear - 6” x 6” - paper

I did both pears with a #10 brush. I want to work on my paint strokes. Too often, I think mine are big and blobby and could use more variety. Plus, playing with watercolor made me think about how to build shapes with paint strokes (and values) in a different way.

#349 - Pear - 6” x 6” - hardboard

This one is on hardboard, so I will keep it as a reminder of the great pear adventure of the last 30 days. For the rest of December, I am going to paint more on hardboard, since I haven’t done that for some time.

I Did It!

I kept up with my pledge to paint a watercolor pear each day for most of November. I am back to carving out time each day to make art, which is the best takeaway. The next best one is that it got me playing with watercolor.

On those days, I could get out of my own head and do rather than think, I had better results. This, literally, was hard to do. It was a bit of a fraught month with family issues, but it also was a problem inherent to me with this medium. Having to wait for things to dry gives me too much time to start thinking and I would find myself picking up the brush when it would have been better to sit, wait, and let things be for awhile.

Over the course of the last month, I've frequently walked away thinking that less really is more. Most of the time, I found (and continue to find) myself doing more, more, and more. Eventually, I hope to find my way to less. For example, my favorite pear is here. I tried to emulate this one again, but never could. This one just happened in the moment.

Since I haven't posted for awhile, here are several pears from the week of Thanksgiving. I did not have an actual pear. I was working from "memory". From these, I can see a bad habit of making things too symmetrical. This also happens to me when I work from life of a picture. That said in the top one and in some of the other ones farther below, I got better at capturing the top of the pear, so that it was in a different plane than the body.

I was gone over Thanksgiving. Once I got back, I had access to actual pears again. These are from last night. I've been in a bit of a rut. Last night, in the last few minutes of painting, I made a conscious effort to let go and just explore in the bottom one.

This morning, I made another conscious effort to try and stay loose and ended with this one. It's a good ending to a fruitful (tee hee) month.

I like that it suggests pear rather than screams it.

Where does that leave me? Ready to paint something besides pears, although I am going to do 1 - 2 in acrylic paint to see what happens. I am going to start watching this on line class. Having played with watercolor on my own, I think I'm ready for it. I purchased it several years ago and while it is for all abilities, I think I will get more out of it now. Otherwise, I don't know, but I am committed to keeping up the daily habit.

FIve Mintues

That’s all the time I had this morning.

The rest of this week will be one for working fast. I think I’ll try to use less water the next time.

Backgrounds

While there's nothing exciting with these backgrounds, I did one where I started with the background.

I did one where I ended with the background. I like the brighter, clearer colors of this one. Plus, the reds are sharper both on purpose and from working with another color. You can get nice reds by mixing Pyrrole Orange and Quinacridone Magenta.

A Pair of Red Pears

It’s still watercolor pears and will be through the upcoming holiday.

They look so different from the time they are mostly dry to really dry. I keep getting surprised by that and, frequently, add more paint. Sometimes I like it better afterwards.  Sometimes, I don’t. It’s a different situation than the one in my last post.

Since I’ve been doing so many pears, I haven’t been posting all of them, but I’m also trying not to cherry pick (or pear pick) the best ones. I want to show the good, the bad, and the so-so on this blog.

Stop, Stop, Stop, Just Stop!

Sometimes, or a lot of the time, I need someone to say "stop, stop, stop, just stop".

This morning I worked on both a quick painting and a household task. In alternating between the two, I was able to let the painting partly dry, so I wasn't working in too wet of an environment. I worked quick, sweet, and simple with a background where I removed paint and added back layers, so I had 3 distinct values. 

All was well, until................I decided that I needed to make one change. This caused something I didn't like, which led to another change, and another, and another. It end up okay, but I think it was better before I fell down this rabbit hole.

Take Away, Put Back

I did a background, mostly let it dry, took away a vague pear shape, and rewetted the background (to try to fix something). Since everything was still wet at this point, I added color to the pear to see what would happen.

Playing around with watercolor this way makes me feel a little like a kid playing with fingerprints.  Although, I would also say that working with watercolor is an experiential reminder that we have less control than we think we do in watercolor, in life, in everything.

Emerging From The Shadows

I think I've tapped into something with these backgrounds and mostly removing, rather than adding. It's like something previously hidden is stepping out into the light.

Gentle, Gentle

I am not known for being gentle, gentle. This phrase comes from an annual occurrence at Christmas time. No matter how carefully the lights for the tree are packed up in the prior year, they are always a tangled mess when it’s time to put them on this year’s tree. Inevitably when I am trying to untangle them, my spouse will give me that kind, but cautionary, look and say “gentle, gentle”. It makes me smile at the time and throughout the year when it pops into my thoughts when I realize that a situation needs a little gentle, gentle. By the way, he usually gets to be the one to finish untangling the lights.

I am continuing the new watercolor background experiments. I played with a second sheet that I set up like the first one, but the background color was harsh. It got in my way and I don’t like what I did with it or how it turned out.

This one was done in the hand bound book I made from Roz’s online class. I stared with a light outline of a pear in pencil. It’s not a watercolor paper, so I couldn’t lift any color in the dried background. While the color changed in the area where I rewetted, none of the color came up. For a change, I stayed gentle, gentle with adding color, didn’t overwork, and let the water do its thing. I liked the finished product in person much better than the picture.  I like the outline. It’s a combo of the pencil lines and how the watercolor settled. The fact the pear is floating is making me a little crazy, but I think it’s better to leave it, as is.

A Grand Experiment

There's a saying that goes something like "if you always do what you've always done, then you'll always get what you've always got". While I've been working on watercolor pears everyday, I've been in a rut and needed a different direction to explore.

When I went to Monica's class, she had one example that was more an impression of a pear, rather than a pear. If you looked at the painting, it's like the pear emerged from a fog or something while you were looking at it. I wish I would have slowed down, looked at it more carefully and either tried to figure out what she did or just asked her. In any event, thinking about that pear inspired me to try something new.

What I did was paint some backgrounds of different colors. On some of them, I took away color in the vague form of a pear shape before the background was fully dry. On some of them, I let them fully dry.

For today's completed experiment, I look one background where I removed paint in two places and played further. On the left side, my intention was to just leave it, except for adding a shadow and a stem. I couldn't help myself and I did some light washes of color. On the other side, I played with adding more background.

I'm saving the other backgrounds for the next several days.

With this first experiment, I ended up with a darker edge of color. While I like the effect and  how it outlines the pear without being obnoxious about it, it makes me very curious about what Monica did with her painting.

Fussy Versus Simple

Today, I started a pear painting in the morning by putting down a layer. Much later in the afternoon, I went down and finished it. This is the fussy pear.

While I was working on it this afternoon, I played around on a bigger piece of paper doing just the outline or a simple version. Here’s a partial view. The shape of the one in the upper left-hand corner worked, so it got a simple stem and shadow.

However, I like the following one the best. It was done on the same piece of paper, which is why there’s a stroke from a different, abandon pear going through the stem. It was quick and easy with 3 values and I think it reads as well as the ones I work on for a long time. There’s a place for both kinds and I am having fun exploring!

Overworked

Frequently, I dismiss something I’m not pleased with as overworked. It’s been a blanket term as in “oh, that’s overworked”. I haven’t thought about the distinct problems inherent in overworking. Things like losing freshness and/or edges and ending up with muddy colors. So instead of the general dismissal, It would be better to accept the invitation to go deeper and do a little evaluation.

So after this preamble, you might think my next piece was a disaster, but it wasn’t. I am happy with the end result, as well as what I learned while painting it. However, it got me thinking about overworking, because I came close to that tipping point, but didn’t fall off the cliff.

I easily could have stopped working on it sooner and probably should have, but I don’t think it’s overworked because of there are edges. Also, the background was done with a light hand versus really, really, really working on, layering in, and taking out color in the pear, so there’s some variety. Lastly, the colors didn’t end up all muddy. This is thanks to my friend who was over yesterday afternoon painting with me and to my hubby who was cleaning the gutters out. I took frequent painting breaks to visit, make tea, or help the hubby move the ladder, so I let things dry.

I Was Patient, But I Got Tired Of Waiting

One of my favorite quotes from Buffy, The Vampire Slayer, comes from the character of Anya. It goes along the lines of title of this blog post. This quote sums up my relationship to watercolor and to many, many other aspects of how I approach life.

I have been starting each day with a watercolor pear. It's been a blast, but I think I use too much water. After that, there's the problem of patience. There's a point where it's best to let things dry. I try to wait, but I get inpatient. I'm not showing the "best" examples of too much water + not enough patience.

Instead, here is one is on meh paper. In the paper hierarchy, there's crappy paper, meh paper, and good paper. Meh paper is better than crappy paper, but is not as good as good paper. It's amusing to me how much I enjoy using less than ideal watercolor paper to try and learn watercolor.

I'm using using my hand-bound book, which has good paper. Here's one from that. 

The best part is that it feels great to be back to making art on a daily basis. 

Day 2 Disaster!

This is not the internal critic speaking. This is a curious soul who is wondering why initial progress in learning is so frequently followed by disaster. In a recent post, I mentioned that after a successful run of a new or difficult juggling pattern, the next several runs are fall apart immediately. I've noticed the same thing with art. From Saturday's class and the start of "a pear a day", I could see something that I wanted to explore or build upon. When I went to paint a pear yesterday morning, let's just say that it did not go well.

11/04/19 - Pear

I think this shows that I had left the place of the beginners mind, where you can stay open and curious, to letting the everyday mind (or at least my everyday mind) start down the path "aha, I think I can do this" or focusing on the result or something like that. I can feel it better than I can explain it, but it's way more autopilot versus being fully present and curious. Of course, disaster ensues. The mind is such a tricky thing. I didn't start out intentional or deliberate. The next time, I am going to try, try, try to set the intention before I begin that I am exploring a process and new medium.

In the meantime since I was working from home, I took a break mid-morning and played on crappy paper with more openness and curiosity.

A Pear A Day For Most Of November

One and a half years ago, I took Roz's bookmaking class for simple round spine books. So far, I have made one and only one book, despite intentions to the contrary. Worse yet, I've used about 5 pages in that book.

After Saturday's class, I've decided to do 20-30 days of pears in watercolor in this book. Pears come in such lovely colors and they have appealing shapes.

I want to start more of my days with art-making. I want to play with watercolor. I want to be exploratory not exact. I want to paint pears. I want to use my book. I want to see what happens.

11/03/19 - pear

For now, I'm probably using too much water and not letting things dry. My guess is that people with more experience with this medium would be horrified. I don't care. I think the blotches are kind of pretty and I'm having creating and exploring with them.

Beginners Mind

Yesterday, I spent the day in class at Wet Paint. The class was Gestural Watercolor with Monica Fogg. She was an affirming, generous instructor and has a background in teaching art. It was a lovely day.

I lucked out getting into the class. It had filled and I was put on the wait list. On Thursday, I found out I was in. That may have contributed to how I approached class. There wasn’t time to overthink things. So on Saturday morning, I decided to leave the internal critic at home, along with any anxiety or insecurities. This has been a year with a lot of change and growth and I decided this class was a gift for myself and I was going to have fun, learn what I could, and embrace whatever happened. All of this led to the perfect combination of approaching this class with beginners mind.

While there weren’t any extreme cases in the other participants, it made me a little sad to hear other people’s comments which made it clear that their internal critic, anxieties, or insecurities had accompanied them to class. Been there. Done that. Know what this can look like and sound like. I wish I could push flip a switch for myself and for other people just make this go away forever.What a gift that would be to myself and to others.

Anyway..........I had a lovely day. We did some different exercises, which included mixing up colors  you might find in a green pear or a red pear. I went a little crazy and filled about 1/3 of the sheet initially. At lunch, I filled the rest of the page. My color mixing was intuitive. When I had a splash of color, I’d mix some other color into it, just to see what would happen.

We did some other exercises and, after that, it was time to spend some quality time with pears. One great thing I learned is that you can play around with watercolor on less than great paper. My 3 stroke pears and the ones below were done on a crappy 85 gsm paper, which I have, but don't enjoy drawing on. I’m thrilled that I can use it up as warm up paper for playing with watercolor. For the 3 stroke pears, I was being very literal. Monica noticed that when she was checking in on participants and suggested using a brush with water to move the paint around. That didn't count as an additional stroke. In the 3 stroke pears, no one thought about or represented the negative space. When we were given up to 10 stroke pears, Monica mentioned negative space and people started to consider it.

At first, I was unhappy when the end of the stem bloomed into the top of the pear, when I let two wet parts touch. Later, I decided I liked it. Overall, this class and approach is a fun way to explore watercolor. Since you are more exploring the idea of something rather than a true representation, it's easier to let go and let the medium do a little (or a lot) of what it wants.

For one assignment, we practiced some simple thumbnails. If you were happy with one of the scenes you set up, the next assignment was to paint it or you could set up something different. There were apples, squash, gourds, or pears to choose from. For my thumbnails, I had a larger scene, but when I went to paint I focused on two pears which seemed to have a lovely relationship. They weren’t holding each other up, but they seemed to be there for each other.

I lost any gestural aspect and overworked it, which also meant that there’s not much value range. This may sound like the internal critic speaking, but it’s not. When I was working on this, I was in the moment, in the zone, and in a place of enjoyment and learning.

I tried a second set up, but didn’t get very far with it. The group was circling up for another round of comments and feedback. For the last assignment, we could do whatever we wanted to. I decided to try and be more gestural with a pear and to be clearer about light, medium, and dark values.

It was a really, really great day and I think this class got me out of my art-making-avoidance funk. Slowly, it’s been lifting, but as of yesterday it’s dissipated and is gone. Hurrah!

Three Is A Magic Number

When I do a series of timed paintings, I typically take an 8 inch square block and divide it into 4 equal parts for 4 different timed paintings. Every time it seems as though versions #1 and 4th are lacking. The 2nd version has some good stuff going on. The 3rd attempt is always the best one. Why is three the magic number?  I have no idea.

In a different realm, if I am part of juggling pattern with other club passers, it never fails that after a particularly good run of a new or complicated patterns the next several tries will fail right away.

My guess is that there is some scientific explanation  for all of this based upon how people's brains work.

#348 - Timed Pear Painting #3 - 4" x 4" - paper

I finished this one several days ago. The shadow is goofy, but besides that I like it. My attempt to use paint strokes to build the shape worked much better than usual, especially for a timed painting, I also liked the colors I mixed, since this was different pear from the last timed painting I posted. That previous pear was part of Saturday's dinner. By the way, the last painting I posted was version #2.

Last night, I finished painting #4 and also just played around with mixing pear colors and playing around with painting a pear without drawing it out first. None of this was particularly successful, but it still felt great to do.

Today, I went to a meeting of nonprofit financial types and worked on some quick, basic sketches of people, in margins of the handout when I got bored. Here are the two of them. While the poses are similar, it was two different people.